I DA'ed over 20 years ago. Not once has my mom-a die hard dub- shunned me. Some of it may have to do with the fact that my dad is not a JW. We enjoy meals together (in restaurants and at our homes), take trips, she came to my Jewish wedding and didn't bolt during the prayers (it was all prayers), and we even go shopping in her local small town together (where I actively engage all dubs and ex-dubs we run into in conversations including my mom). I suspect she rationalizes it in two ways. First, that her husband requires that her to maintain her familial relationship with me, and two (this is the biggy that overrides any threats elders and others might make) The interactions were necessary to conduct important family business. I do not think the Watchtower has gone out and defined exactly what family business is, but any definition of it would have to be broad enough to include (even by a stretch) just about any type of familial activity you can think of....Shoshana
La Capra
JoinedPosts by La Capra
-
25
If I am disfellowshipped, will my family get disfellowshipped they...
by LayingLow ini have some family that would continue to associate with me even if i were disfellowshipped.
it is known by them that i am not truly an apostate (from yhwh and jesus).
i have come to a different conclusion than them after three years of intense activity at the hall.
-
-
-
-
-
La Capra
I think if you ran tests on students in an elementary school, you might find a direct correlation of the statistics of foot size and intelligence, or so it would appear. I bet Mensa has done some statistic collection on its members. That would not be too hard to track down.
Shoshana
-
77
So...I got duped today!
by lovelylil ini am one of those people who always gives money to those who ask me on the street.
the reason is because there was a time when i was a kid that my siblings and i needed to beg on the street for food money because mom and dad were both addicts.. anyway, i was on my way into walmart and a lady stopped me and asked if i could give her a few dollars ($5 to be exact) so that she could pick up a prescription for some medicine.
she explained that she and her kids have been sick with bronchitis and although the kids were better she was not and had run out of money until her check came on the first of the month.. i can also sympethize with having to wait for government checks to buy what you need having grown up on state welfare programs and i reasoned that $5 is nothing for me and my husband because combined we bring in over six figures a year income.
-
-
La Capra
There is a part of the Jewish Passover Seder when the angel Elisha sneaks in and takes a big gulp of wine from his designated cup (but no one sees him). The tradition says that he takes the form of a street beggar, and that you never know if the street beggar asking you for spare change or a few bucks is Elisha, so you give. Sometimes I give, but not always. But I give them enough to both buy their fix AND a hot meal. The last time I gave a beggar 20 bucks, he said "No shit man?" (I'm the girl type, so it was amusing). He then said, "I better hurry, they run out of chicken at KFC about now..." And he headed in the direction of the restaurant right away (Actually, he sort of jogged). When I drove past him a few minutes later, he was JUST walking into KFC and waved. So it's right to do it when you can, even if they do spend it on drugs most of the time, they don't always. Shoshana
-
27
fader's wife expresses 1st doubts....
by sweet pea intalking to a friend (ex-elder) today whose wife was (is) a close friend of mine .
she's still a jdub but won't talk to me now i'm df'd (apparently it hit her very hard when we left) and so she busied herself with ministry and meetings in search of comfort and affirmation of her faith.
this didn't work for her and she came out with an unexpected question... .
-
-
La Capra
That's how I ended up being able to leave. The idea that if nothing "out" there was "it," then the WTBTS probably wasn't either. Just because there isn't anything "else" out there doesn't mean that what you are in is something. This argument is probably most effective on those born and raised in the cult, who haven't seen or experienced what else is out there, rather than people who became members after becoming adults. How would they know what else is out there and how people involved are impacted by it? Shoshana
-
53
My Dating horror= You can't have coffee at the mall without a chaperon???
by Witness 007 inbeing a pioneer/servant for years, i thought i was very responsible.
when dating a sister whom i later married, i read every publication on courtship the society had.
i then spoke to an elder whom i thought was "resonable" and we agreed as the publications say: "a couple can meet together in a public place, when courting, without a chaperon.
-
-
La Capra
In my congregation in the 80s, there was the homeschooled teenaged pioneer daughter of an elder and pioneer, and the homeschooled pioneere teenaged son of a minesterial servant and pioneer who would conspire to stay home from Thursday night meetings. As soon as his parents left, he would hop on his bike and ride the five miles to her house, where they would commit fornication for about an hour, then he'd hop on his bike and ride home. Anyone who would have cared was at the meeting and couldn't catch them. And no one else knew them because they were homeschooled. I heard about it from the boy a few years later. The girl had the book thrown at her, the boy just got private reproof and wasn't allowed to pioneer, for like about a week or something. Shoshana Oh yeah, the point: If two people wanna do it, they will ignore the chaperone rule and sneak off by themselves anyway.
-
15
Well its been a while...disfellowshiping, sex, drugs, and I'm diggin it!
by tsunami_rid3r ini checked my last post, that was march 2007.. .
i had plans to go to italy for a dig and i just got fired from my suck ass waiting job, but instead i went to a dig in texas for the summer.
wow was that [edit] cool.
-
-
La Capra
Hey, it looks like you got some punctuation, finally. This truly is reason to check in with us. It's pretty rare to be disfellowshipped simply for a bad attitude, particularly when it's a male witness. Your dad must have really pissed them off. Enjoy school, it can't last forever. (BTW, there is no such thing as the "cool geeks." Even in college. Just embrace your geekness and get over it.) Shoshana
-
9
Dub w/soul patch?
by La Capra ini was at the gym this morning, pouring myself a cup of coffee and i noticed a sweaty man sitting at a table reading what looked like the small version of the maroon deluxe nwt (the one made out of pig leather that were all the rage in the early 90's before the "donation arrangement").
(for anyone who cares, he was in revelation.
) it also appeared that he had a colorful tract or magazine and the daily text book (are those spiral bound now?
-
-
La Capra
I was at the gym this morning, pouring myself a cup of coffee and I noticed a sweaty man sitting at a table reading what looked like the small version of the maroon deluxe NWT (the one made out of pig leather that were all the rage in the early 90's before the "donation arrangement"). (For anyone who cares, he was in revelation.) It also appeared that he had a colorful tract or magazine and the daily text book (Are those spiral bound now? It's the only thing I could think of that could be WTBTS-related). At any rate, along with the WTBTS rags, the man was sporting a soul patch? What's become of the Wine Country Witnesses? Shoshana
-
7
Last night we went ahead with our DA letter NOW because. . .
by Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit ini spoke to my niece yesterday back home and she is getting married in april 08 to a non jw, she was baptized at 15 and has faded well.
her mother, my evil oldest sister, has told her that she will not be attending nor is she interested in offering support of any kind and i was furious; my husband and i were both enraged enough to add a lot about their evil shunning practice to our already-written letter, and the hate with which they practice it.
it made the break truly feel completely natural and right, right now, and to quote their evil songbook, now's the time to prove we're true!!!.
-
-
La Capra
I can't think of a single "family business" matter that is more important than marriage ceremonies. Marriage is a legal matter that alters family relationships. The parents should be there, on the grounds that it is family business to witness the legal change in their family. My mom was at my wedding (I DAed 20 years ago). She stayed through the whole thing...Jewish ceremony in Hebrew and all!!! Shoshana
-
21
Affidavit for a court custody battle with a JW mom/Non JW dad
by Billzfan23 inwhat kind of things would you put in an affidavit to the court for a custody hearing - list them out in this thread for me so that i can disperse each point across multiple pages, making a strong case.
i will start:.
blood transfusions: - jw children are refused blood transfusions that could save their lives.. how about school sports, flag salute, military service, discouraging college education, keeping "seperate from the world", armageddon teachings, etc.. help we fill in a little wordy description and elaborate on each point in this post - it would be very much appreciated!.
-
-
La Capra
It is incredibly relevant fo the judge to know that when the children are with the JW parent they will be subjected to five hours a week of conditioning that
1) Teaches them their non-JW parent is part of Satan and will be destroyed at Armaggedon.
2) Teaches them that they are not good enough for salvation themselves if they do not spend additional hours (ten) a month in field service trying to teach others the essential idea espouse in item 1.
3) Teaches them that education, recreation, art, music, sports, or any other type of interest healthy kids might have takes valuable time away from item 2.
4) Teaches them that because they have these interests (whether they are allowed to participate) and desire to participate, they too will be destroyed at Armaggedon.
5) Teaches them to "treat as dead" those former members of the church that have left, whether voluntarily or by disfellowshipping-and that this could happen to them too if they don't follow items 2-4.
6) Teaches them to lie when it is inconvenient to tell the truth, or when the person inquiring doesn't deserve the truth.
7) Teaches them that should they be abused or molested that going to civil authorities will subject them to item 5.
8) Teaches them that if they have friends that aren't JWs, those friends are all evil, and in turn, you children will become evil.
Then it would be important for a judge to know that the children will be kept out late two nights a week, and will be required to spend however many days, all day, at assemblies, special meetings and conventions, sitting quiet all day, listening to all of the above.
It would also be important for the judge to know that the JW parent would try to prevent life-saving blood transfusions.
And finally, it would be important for the judge to see the JW parent painted as an individual with a mental dependency on a quasi-religious organization, and that would cause the JW parent to put the organization's needs above the children's, perhaps to the point of shunning them should they at any point reject her belief system. Then demonstrate HOW HARMFUL it is for the children to be loved only conditionally, and that you fear for their emotional. physical, and spiritual well-being if their religious upbringing were left up to the JW parent. (Any facts about the JW parent refusing to miss a meeting when the child was sick, either taking the child while ill, or leaving them and not staying home to care for them?)
There is a lot more, but the legal standard with child custody is best interest of the child. The key here is to demonstrate how exposure to this religion is not in the best interest of the child.
Shoshana
-
8
advice on dealing with mom....please!!!!
by WANTMOMBACK inok, so here is the trouble--everytme something bad happens, esp.
a death, my mother will give whoever the unfortunate families who are greiving a book about being able to see your loved ones again.
this is wxtremely difficult for me b/c first of all some of these people are close to meand expect me to know what the hell she is talking about!
-
-
La Capra
There is ettiquette protocal for dealing with others when they have suffered a loss. Provide her with a book that explains what is proper "in polite society." If she still disregards it, then she is simply rude. And now she knows it, even if she can't help herself. Shoshana